Day 5

Today is Day 5 of treatment for Noah. Already today, there are no leukemia cells in his blood. Although that is amazing, it's also normal. The leukemia cells are being killed by the chemo very quickly. Its amazing to think that it will take 3 more years to kill it all.

Right now, we are waiting to get a port put into his chest. This is like an iv that stays under the skin where he can get some of his chemo meds. They can also draw blood from it. So it makes the process alot 'easier' as they don't have to poke him everytime.

I (mom) am feeling a bit nervous. Its considered surgery, and he will be put under and have a breathing tube put in. He will also need another blood transfusion before the procedure. This is all so overwhelming. I wish I could fast forward to the end of the 3 years and look at my beautiful healthy son and forget this horrible reality. Perhaps I will feel differently later on. I'm sure there are many things that we will learn from this. Things that I already have learned and appreciate.

Chris and I both miss our other children so much. Its hard to be seperated all the time. Something we are not use to. Its hard on Holly too. Coltan is such a happy baby, and so far hasn't forgotten me. We have been honest with Noah and Holly about the cancer, which is a good thing. I can't imagine trying to hide this yet.

Some of our friends and family ask what they can do to help. I don't know. I hope and I am sure that when we do know what we need, you will be there for us at that time. 3 years is a long time to get through this. And if I don't know what I need on day 5, I may know on day 365. I still feel like I am dreaming, and this isn't our life. That my boy isn't laying in the hospital bed, filled with cancer. That I am not having to learn what platelets mean, and neutrophils and white and red blood cells do. That I didn't have to know what the numbers all mean. I wish all I had to worry about was what to do today to keep my kids busy during the summer. Something I stressed about just 7 days ago. Seems so ridiculous now.

Prayer: Please pray that the port will go in smoothly. That Chris and I will know how to care for it properly. That Noah can come home soon. That he doesn't have any bad reactions to blood or meds. That we all remain positive. That this cancer will leave him completely and never return. That our other children stay healthy. That the side effects will not be horrible.